Journey

I gotta admit that i am not a long-journey-kinda-person anymore. today me and Dania went back to kk along with my uncle, this was my third ride, i mean third time of a long-ride by car and i must say that i suck. i used to be just fine inside the car even for 12 long hours journey but now i get dizzy and nausea easily!

Baking mojo :

Cheesecake chocolate art cake ^^

Weekend drama

This weekend definitely a crazy one for me.

We were busy helping my aunt clean her new house and we had to find furniture for it and stuff for the house. I had fun doing it with them but the un-fun one is Dania were being an absolutely terrible two! definitely has cross my patient boundaries if i may say. she will cry and cry and cry only. if there'a one thing that she want that you can't say 'yes' she will start crying which really is not my favorite sound now! even going to the shop i have to carry her the whole time!

Until i have to ask my hubby to take care of her for awhile because i was way too tired already with all the chaos. i need some me time for awhile so that i can do anything easily.

So today i had a good afternoon nap since the weather was so perfect for a nap. i had the bed and the pillow all by myself together with the ipod ^^ so now i am feeling a lil energetic already and ready for baking! Yayy!!

I wanna...

Oh how i feel like i wanna be alone. Just me myself and i staring at the scenery like above picture at my little balcony swinging with a jazzy music like Yuna's or Colbie Caillat's or Bruno Mars's...

i know its weird to feel that way. i don't why, but maybe there's too much going on in my life these days and sometimes you just wanna runaway from it and just be alone. alone means quiet blissful time just for you without any noises or voices!

Alone when you have the bed all to yourself where you can snuggle, stretch and sleep freely with your soft pillow and silky blanket sitting on the couch watching your favorite tv show by yourself without anybody disturb you. don't you ever feel that way? like free from everything. i know i do right now -_-

Maybe some little time alone for me to think about life and what's important. a time where i will jot down just anything on my little notebook, anything that maybe inspired me. A time where i can keep on browsing and browsing on pinterest and forget about facebooking.

Oh and one thing with a cup of hot vanilla latte and freshly baked scones on the table. What A Bliss!!!

Now.... when can i have all that? impossible.

Note : things that have been stolen by xxxx, my lacey cotton panty (LOL) and my olay cleanser. this is so ridiculous!

Her first

Some random stuff about my lil Dania.

This is Dania waiting for us to go inside the bus, i kinda felt pity for her at that time (just by looking at her confused face,have no idea what her mummy actually doing at that kind of place with so many people), something like emotional feeling. because as a mother you really want to give just the best in every single thing for your child and here my thought was like she still small and shouldn't be riding public transportation like this -_-,
i know i sound weird and unrealistic but that's how i feel that time.


This was when we were inside the bus already. and at the beginning as we entered the bus's door she cried and wanted to go outside. maybe she scared to be inside a space like that kan, and i started to feel scared too. i'm scared if she will be cranky or maybe crying during the whole journey, but luckily she's not! and i think she did enjoy herself, well since there's other children too inside the bus so she feels okay after seeing them.


This is her first ever Barbie! yes she's now have so much interest on Barbie and princesses. girly girl stuff. she even wore my knee-length pink skirt almost everyday. she love the skirt because when she wear the skirt it is long until touch the floor, so kinda like the barbie and princesses dress lah. if only i still have my old barbie doll that i can give to her, last time i have almost 10 of them because barbie price nowadays is not cheap like last time.


Here it was her first time doing this. i mean arranging stuff. like in the picture nowadays she likes to arrange the ABC letter but not in correct order. now Dania can remember & sing some of the ABC letter in order already but not every letter yet.


Now she know how to tell me that she wanna drink milk bottle already. i mean she develop an interest to drink it and she will ask me anytime she wants for it. but still the BF still on -_-


And last but not least everyday Dania will remind me to give her the spirulina. and she even bite it just like that! without any water! do you ever smell and try spirulina? it was disgusting (but healthy) and smells like turtle's food ^^ seriously baby will eat and bite it just like that without feeling yucky at all. just look at Dania's mouth and teeth ^^ bagus juga oh kan!

Anyway me and Dania was strike with high fever recently and we just recovered from it. it was a scary experience for me when comes to Dania part the other day. now i'm still a lil bit weak and just a little thought out of my head just now :

"when i'm sick i feel like ugly betty"

Irritated !!

I am back in keningau already. Me, Dania and my grandmother ride the big bus together (will blog about it soon coz it was Dania's first time riding a bus).

Anyway i was hoping that when i come back here that everything will go smoothly and there's nothing to worry about anymore but i was so totally wrong! infact i think this is the worst ever!!! lau di fikir memang bikin gila and sangat menggeramkan!

What i meant here is that i was hoping that every single bill (our own & the bills that we share with the inlaw) are settle already and all we have to worry is to buy our everyday groceries lah, sekali nya tebalik! only 1 thing that have been paid which is our car ccm and the rest? not yet! and now all their money is gone! how stupid is that?

One thing that really pissed me off madly is they go and do and buy things that not important than the bills yang tertunggak! and ofcourse the budget for the groceries. c hubby sent the car to the workshop and he didn't even tell me about it and others give their money to the boyfriend (idiots!) and the rest of the money i don't know where they put!!!

For me their act is totally ridiculous and unthinkable! is it that hard for you to set aside all the bills money then go and settle it to the bank or whatever then only you go and buy your needs and maybe unimportant things than the bills yang akan tertunggak!

I am going crazy already just thinking about the money that gone just like that and have no idea p mana semua that money! c hubby pun satu, just two weeks i'm in kk and there goes the money. in kk i was seriously bugetting my pocket money (buy the important things only) even going back here i still have the balance, tapi dia?-_-'

I don't know already how to handle this matter. if our own money maybe i still can control and tell strictly to hubby about using it but if to tell to the inlaw about MUST pay the bills on time is hard. and i don't know how to tell to them already, even if hubby tried to ask for the bills money there will be excuses that totally ridiculous for me! seriously i am so mad and irritating at them!!

Another story again about this person that live just close to our house (i bloged about her before this actually). this person also make me so angry, why? well if this is the first time they did this i don't mind.... maybe they really need it BUT this time i don't know how many times already they did this and i can't take it anymore. hubby's grandma always helped us when it comes to money problem. but she's not living with us, so everytime she want to give us some extra money she have to ask hubby's brother (the one that living the house near to us) to hand over the money to hubby. and this is the craziest part, they never ever hand over the money!!! they took the money for themselves! this happened so many times already!! punya teruk to perangai begitu kan! betul2 muka tembok.

If only i can tell at their faces how extremely stupid their attitude is! All of them!!

And because all this i want and really really wish that we could stay at our own house! where the rule is rule and nothing to worry about. how can i do this? i need help!

Yesterday i talk to hubby about this matter until i felt like i wanna cry, tears started coming out because i don't wanna live like this! this is not how i want our life to be after moving back here from tawau. to tell the truth life at tawau was much more easier eventhough we are far from our family!!

November thought

...... and i will try just to go with the flow wherever you will take me.

There's no point being a hard-headed person because there's no happiness i guess. BUT i will not forgive or forget yet.

So yes, lets break up!

Happy November ^^