Did you watch?

After the show finish on starworld i straightly on my lappy and googled about them. i'm talking about The Bachelorette season 7 on star world!! did any of you ever watch it? i know i've been a big fan of this kind on show teeeheee! big big fan!


Maybe i sound unreal here but for me they were the best couple since the show started. why love them so much? Ashley is someone who is very goofy and fun, for Jp's character he's like any girl would want a man like that with them! seriously.

By watching this i think i get some resolution about my current situation with my other half in our marriage life. to be honest we are on the rock right now and it does frustrated me big time! so after watching this i get some point that thats the one thing or reason why i married my other half but the only problem is he's not he used to me anymore. i did cry watching this because everything that i saw on the show its like i didn't get to feel it anymore.

You can say that 'what's on tv wasn't real thing' and i'm just being stupid or silly here but to be honest it does gave me an impact, because i can relate to the show that you want your relationship to be such a way. and by seeing Jp's character i realized that my other half used to be like that and it make me so so so sad just by thinking about it.

How can i compare my other half with Jp? i am watching this show together with my aunt all the time and we always asking question to each other about the guys in the show, so when i said i really like to see Jp straightly my aunt laugh out loud and said "i knew it that you're gonna like him because your other half was like him", well not on the physical way lah except his bald head. my aunt said kinda like an officer like police etc. and that is my other half job actually, so it is so funny to think and comparing. but i strictly object what my aunt said about my other half because he's not like that anymore!

Right now my mind is busy thinking how i'm going to work this problem out between the two of us! i never talk about our problem here on my blog, but right i am seriously confuse and scared just to think about it. i really need help! i did talk about it to my family but for them it is just a small matter and there's no need to make it a big deal, so i'm kinda disappointed about it. so i just tell myself "they can say like that because they're not on your feet, you've been facing this for years already and you've got to make your own decision and just ignore what they going to say".

But until now i'm still scared to make a decision. i don't know what else to do or say.

Who you are back then...

I just wanna say that my christmas weekend kinda suck, so i hope your christmas would be a blast.

Anyway as my title said above, yes i am referring to a person. and not to forget a reminder for myself too. i will call this 'person' Nicole, easier for me to tell the story here.

Way back then Nicole is a very simple, innocent, bubbly and humble girl. the day i got to know her better i think she was only 12 years old. one personality that i really like about her too she's someone that you can ask for help, just anything and she'll do it without any complaint or disagreement.

When she was 13 years old her parents sent her to a highschool at her hometown. so Nicole have to live with her grandma, her uncle and her uncle's fiance. maybe for a better environment for her. so there, at Nicole's relative's house she's still the same girl except one thing that her grandma really get annoyed with her, she's not really a neat-person. her stuff will be everywhere, especially on her room's floor. messy girl they called her. Nicole's grandma have to remind her again and again to do this and that so she can maybe change her attitude but it does not work well at all. but for me it's ok because its a teenagers thing for being that kind of attitude.

For almost 3 years she stayed there with them, she's kinda a little miss sunshine to them. everybody likes to be with her. she's still with her 'then' attitude, which is good and people like it. so as she grew up becoming a much 'older' teenager perhaps, she moved back to where she belong, a place before Nicole moved to her hometown. i have no idea why she decided to move to other school, i think it is because a pressure by her cousin and her aunt.

Studying at new school requires Nicole to ride public transport from her house. so because of that her aunt willingly agreed to sent and fetch her at school but Nicole need to stay at her aunt house so that its easier for her aunt situation. Nicole's aunt is living a luxurious life with her small children, so by staying there made Nicole's other relatives thought that it was a good idea.

For a few years she was in an okay position. she's still a funny girl that probably you wanna drag her with you all the time. anything that you ask her to help you or just anything, you can count on her. until the day come which is she's gonna finish her study at her school... meaning that she's graduating from highschool.

So Nicole been living with her rich aunt for a few years already, and its good that she get to enjoy all the luxurious from her aunt. Now that she's 18 years old, they've been going to church regularly and study the bible regularly, hanging out with this church people almost everyday which really totally made Nicole a different girl besides all the luxurious life she had. What changes?

Well she's not the Nicole that used to be back then. it's getting harder to talk to her now because she now know how to talk back to you, she don't accept any upbuilding comment for her, she's become such a lazy girl and its hard for you to ask for help from her, she will say no if she don't wanna do it with a loud annoying voice, she will just talk to you anything that she wants without thinking what other people would feel, she will say unkind word about other people that she don't like, she's a closed minded person, always look down on others.... well overall she's a spoil brat.

But nobody ever tell her that! not even her aunt wanna tell her, her aunt was well aware about Nicole's attitude but she just let her be that way. so there you go a spoil brat is born.

If only i could tell on her face how stupid her attitude is. well one day. maybe next year. because i think she should know.

Come as you are

May 2012 be a pretty good year for me.

Swing my soul

Have you seen Agnes Monica 'kinda' new video called Rindu ? i LOVE it!!! its natural.

I'm in the mood for some nice jazzy ballad swing tune for my soul. ^^ aiseh!

Oh i'm downloading Yuna's tune also. i really need more suggestion on her music for me to download, who knows? have you heard Lana Del Rey song on Mtv Push? LOVE it too. she's so pretty!

* i have lots to talk about actually here in my blog but i don't know where to start. i will get to it soon. i need to organize my mind first.

Tips please

What would you do when you're feeling very angry or very irritate at something or someone? beside yelling or scolding.

Well i really need some advise or tips from you, because for me when it is out of my control already or i can't stand or can't cope with it anymore i really need something to cheer me just a lil bit. like the picture above really made me smile after being so so so angry just now.

It's December already. Do tell me how.

*sigh*