Monday, January 30

2 Days & 1 night

Masa CNY holiday me and my family plus some other family member went for a very short holiday di Kundasang Ranau. We stayed at Hallelujah Retreat centre, about 2km from Kinabalu Park. The place is so great! the view is nice, the chalet is good and the coldness is mad mad cold!! overall i love it.

First day dari Keningau at 7am, arrived Ranau at 9am. Kami round-round kedai Ranau then went for a lunch, oleh kerana banyak kedai yang sedap tutup so we eat kfc. then we went to Hotspring, and there's so many people! sampai macam geli mau mandi heheee. petang sudah baru kami went to the chalet and that time it was raining... punya la sejuk!! all of us were shivering due to the coldness plus the rain that night. we did some barbeque and watch movie.

Second day was quite a rush for us to visit few places there. we went to the Desa Farm first, then the Agro and then the Memorial Park lastly pigi isi perut. every place we spent lama juga lah masa d sana coz being with my uncle and his wifey yang sangat suka bergambar nah tambah la macam2 mau d snap. anyway it was fun trip and we're planning going for a second holiday on May maybe, and this time maybe going to an island. can't wait!

Sunday, January 29

My dream came true

Seriously mine did today. i'm not bragging here.

Last night i dreamed that i was sitting on sofa then suddenly there's so many chicks came inside the living room and i was so scared and uurrgghh!! FYI i'm phobia to any kind od bird. i hate them.

So this afternoon while surfing the internet Dania and hubby was outside the house playing with the chicken, suddenly i heard the chick's sound getting louder and nearer to me then i look at the door there was Dania walking towards me while holding the chicks!! so i was shouting like a mad person and ran inside the room. i was so so sooo shocked and scared that time, i was funny though.

And there you go shouting and running incident going on and on because hubby keep on asking Dania to give the chick to me and he also keep on chasing me with it! i swear to him that if ever i caught or saw a grasshopper or praying-mantis i will surely and definitely put it inside his short without any doubt! there's no mercy no more.

You see, my dreams do come true kan, but not a good one -_-

Just now before Dania fell asleep we're just finish watching movie, scary movie but not ghost. and Dania was sitting on the couch facing the stairs and first living room (both no light). suddenly she lie down and said 'takut' while trying not to see the stairs or the living room. we keep on asking her what is it she scared but she didn't answer us. so i said 'nenen and go to sleep', while she's nenen-ing ^^ i ask again and she just point at the stairs or the living room.

Maybe she saw 'things' again. so now while thinking about it i'm kinda mad at this 'things' that try to scared little kid like Dania! seriously. seeing her face when she's scared is heartbreaking for me. like i wanna shout out loud saying don't ever try to scared her, but i couldn't be so dramatic. little kids like Dania does not know anything about them, they're innocent! so why they try to show themselves on their eyes, it is sad to see them like that.

But this is life surrounded by satan and his demons, all we can do is just pray to god for protection towards our family. i'm not scared actually, but i always reminded myself again and again that don't be scared of them coz they just try to scared us human with an ugly feature but actually they're not like that at all.

Honestly if ever i saw a ghost i can't even imagine how will i react. whether that i will be shouting and shouting or faint or just in shock.

Okay i need to stop watching scary movie!!!

Saturday, January 28

Midnight music

Oh how i really really miss the old times!

Sleeping through the night while listening to my favorite tune, whether in loud or low sound. Its a bonus if outside is raining and me snuggle in with my blankie while listening to some music.

Its not that i can't do it already but when you have a small kid like me or even a baby you can't or better not do that. so now everytime i feel like listening to some music while sleeping i need to turn it on from my hp and hid it under my pillow, or play my mp3. but both of the option i don't like at all. for me i want the whole room of mine can hear the tune.

Right now i need some Estrella's music....

Maybe i sound weird or unrealistic but that's just my old habit that i really miss right now.

We just came back from our very short holiday at Kundasang, Ranau and i will post some pictures soon. i need to find the right and comfortable time first.

Wednesday, January 18

Kundasang for cny

Its just occur to my head that me and my uncle with his wife should go on a holiday for this coming CNY, and that time it was early December.

The only problem that we had before this plan is 100% confirm is their off-day (holiday), like when it will start and how many days. So because of this sadly we couldn't book abit early any hotel at Kundasang! Only literally like 1week before CNY we manage to book a place for us to sleep.

No, it wasn't Celyn hotel or Kirams Village (a place that i really really wanna go!!), sadly we have this like kampung chalet which located 2km near Kinabalu park. Any of you know or have seen this place? I forgot the exact name but it's kinda a place called Hallelujah Retreat.

I have no idea at all how's this place is going to be. i just hope it will be quite comfortable for us. because i gave up on calling again and again all the other hotels there, and i just thought what the long as we have a place to stay that's all. lame right.

2 km from Kinabalu park, so is this place at a high ground and is this place going to be cold? or very cold? or not? tell me. because last time i arrived at Kundasang it wasn't that cold at all.

And i need a recommendation from any of you a place that nice to visit there, well besides some of the famous place that most people go.... where else?

Friday, January 13

Here and there

Due to 'our' situation since last year i've been living at my aunt and uncle's house, so me and Dania once a week only go back to my MIL house. i really feel bad and sad about it but i can't stay there anymore if my heart are not ready yet. in other word not confident yet.

This is the hardest thing that i have to face! and i hate it so so much! i am so heartbroken seeing my MIL sad-confusing face everytime we were about to go back here again after staying there over-night or just for half day only. actually she knew why i decided to be like that but i'm sure now she did feel confuse why it took me that long to stay on my decision.

I don't ask or want to be like this but i have no choice! i don't want to be hurt for... not second or third, but thousand times already! i don't want to take the risk anymore.

So right now i just have to be thick skin and just stay here at my relative's house until i can gather back all the confidence that i used to have and be strong again. i don't want to rush things anymore or just accept it like that because like last time in the end i'm the one who will get hurt. for enough is enough already. because everytime i'm at their house i feel so stress out and there's no one to talk to.

Sometimes i am confuse whether i am doing the right thing or not. but i always follow my heart, not my mind.

If any of you in my situation what will you do?

I do need advise.

Tuesday, January 10

My little Barbie

Who is my little barbie? it's Dania actually. Right now Dania is kinda obsessed with Barbie world. everything and every second she will talk about barbie.

1. Everyday she will wear my pink skirt or she will wear her dress that looks like a flower-girl dress or just any skirt that she thinks barbie wore on the movie... and then she will twirl around and said "cam barbie kan..." or "like barbie skirt kan....". well i think she's obsessed with skirt too. so pantang skit nampak orang lain pakai skirt especially long one, then she wanna wear it too. sometimes she will change from this skirt to other skirt until her wardrobe jadi samak!

2. Dania hates to tie her hair up. maybe she feel hurt eventhough i tried to loose abit the band but still she hates it. so one trick that i must say to her after tying her hair is "wow.... like barbie hair lah!" and add another compliment and another one and another one -_-' So after she hear all the compliment, she will touch her hair then look at barbie and smile. but it will not last long la. Even if she see someone's hair that she thinks like barbie, Dania will tell them.

3. Sometimes she will sing out of nowhere like barbie again (as she said)! but not one word you will understand from her singing.

4. She can watch barbie movie one whole day! if she wake up in the morning she will ask me to on barbie or sometimes Hi-5, but mostly her idol lah. Dania has her own movie folder on my laptop and she knew which one is it! so dalam tulah banyak collection barbie movie dia and also other princesses movie. and every movie she memorize which one is Fairy secret or Mermaid tale or her current fav is Diamond castle.

5. Besides skirt that she really obsessed with, she really love to dance. especially while watching barbie movie lah. she will twirl around, put up her leg like a ballet dancer and etc movement. and then she will say "like barbie kan......" but before she do the dance she must ask for a skirt first.
Well luckily Dania only hooked to the barbie movie, i mean she never ask to buy stuff that have barbie printed on it. maybe when she get abit older she will.

I remember when she was just 1 year old i'd try really hard for Dania to like barbie and princesses but never bother, all she care that time is elmo and barney, but now? betul-betul terjadi and she's being a really girly girl yang kuat bergaya bah.

Dania gain so much weight already. i think since she started to drink milo, she gained 3kg! so now i can't carry her more than 10minutes. plus nowadays she's been eating rice really well. i just hope she will stay that way.

Her talking development has improve. i mean she can make a phrases whether in english or malay. sometimes she will mix the language. but if she wanna tell you something in a long story, she will give you her baby talk. it is funny and cute when you hear your little baby can really talk and know the meaning of the word that she said.

Right now i am thinking about whether to send Dania to pre-school or not. ofcourse the buget-ing issue have to be worried and transportation too, what if that time hubby is working then who can help me to fetch Dania. i've read so many story on others blog about their kids going to pre-school, and it is exciting! and if your kids going home bringing their art work from school it is a joy to see what your little one can do on her own.

well i'm still thinking.

Saturday, January 7

Towards the end of 2011

Christmas open house at Kg. Gaulan :

Dania with her nenek and so called aunt ^^


Wedding day : Elvis Lee & June Ariffin

My mom on sari with her sisters

The teenagers !

The beautiful bride

My cousin Queenie, i think she should enter the next Unduk Ngadau ^^

Queenie and Sheila

There's alot for me to blog about actually, but i still need to organize my thoughts properly.

Monday, January 2

Love Lesson

As awful as this sound to me i gotta be honest here in my blog for my future reading. i have no high hope nor new year resolution for this new year.

But i did learn some lesson regarding love. and i really thing i can reflect to this advise by Jillian Harris.

You Can Only Control You
Well, the first important thing our relationship taught me was that we can never change other people and we are only responsible for ourselves. If you don’t trust someone, if someone isn’t dependable or doesn’t quite measure up when it comes to making you feel like a million bucks... chances are (I am so sorry to say) that won’t change. Us hopeless romantics cling to those stories of the bad boy turning over a new leaf and becoming prince charming but unfortunately bad habits are hard to break. And ultimately, it’s not worth worrying about changing the other person because as I said above, all we really have control over is ourselves.

Trust Your Gut
I’ve learned that no one in the world is worth loosing yourself and your securities for. Turn off your heart for one minute and really ask yourself “is this person really able to make me happy?” You’re smart, and you’ve been blessed with instinct so always follow it. If you DO feel that this person is your one and only and able to make you happy then you can depend on a little patience, backing off and time to solve your issues.

Give All Your Trust The biggest thing I think I learned was how to trust. The thing is, trust is less about the other person and more about you and your emotional availability and confidence. If it turns out that he actually is untrustworthy you’ll find out in due time and know that you always did your best to support the relationship. Though it’s hurtful to have someone deceive your trust, investing and trusting people is always the right way to go because you’ll never get anywhere in a relationship if you don’t dive in 100 percent. So when it comes to trust in love I learned to give it all; you’ll come out in a good place either way.

So true. so true. so true!!!

When you've been with this person for years already and you keep on putting some faith and patient with your partner for many many times already but all he did was made you angry and disappointing you over and over again. and he kept doing the same mistake again and again to you. This might make you think if that person really worth it for you and what you have sacrifice. will this person make you happy like the first time you met him?

But it is a hard decision because you need to think about it in a long term way.