Due to 'our' situation since last year i've been living at my aunt and uncle's house, so me and Dania once a week only go back to my MIL house. i really feel bad and sad about it but i can't stay there anymore if my heart are not ready yet. in other word not confident yet.
This is the hardest thing that i have to face! and i hate it so so much! i am so heartbroken seeing my MIL sad-confusing face everytime we were about to go back here again after staying there over-night or just for half day only. actually she knew why i decided to be like that but i'm sure now she did feel confuse why it took me that long to stay on my decision.
I don't ask or want to be like this but i have no choice! i don't want to be hurt for... not second or third, but thousand times already! i don't want to take the risk anymore.
So right now i just have to be thick skin and just stay here at my relative's house until i can gather back all the confidence that i used to have and be strong again. i don't want to rush things anymore or just accept it like that because like last time in the end i'm the one who will get hurt. for enough is enough already. because everytime i'm at their house i feel so stress out and there's no one to talk to.
Sometimes i am confuse whether i am doing the right thing or not. but i always follow my heart, not my mind.
If any of you in my situation what will you do?
I do need advise.