Wednesday, May 30

Keeping me busy

Latest project inspired by my sister ^^ and i love doing it!


Dania's latest pictures that really made my day eventhough she's a menace every single day ^^ LOL!

We're going back to KK tomorrow (walaupun poket mau berlubang sudah huhuuu!) anyway i tried to be optimistic about this matter and just enjoy ourselves la. Happy Holidays Ladies ^^

Saturday, May 19

When they talked about me...

They as in family members. i know this kind of thing is normal in a family.

But still i was angry because what they gossiping about me was not reasonable at all and i can't accept it!

Last month i was on holiday with my sister from kgau to kk then kk to kgau, back and forth bah. and my hubby could not join us because he can't get any off, so it was just me and Dania. so that's the problem they talked about! i refer 'they' as to my aunts.

As hub and wife before we even had Dania while we were still in Tawau i always going back to kk most of the time alone without hubby, because he can't get any off from his job. and that's just how we are, and not a big problem to us especially to hubby. Eventhough his heart was hard to let go but if he says yes then yes it is.

And moving to keningau i still going back to kk, sometimes it will be just me and Dania. Same reason like we were in Tawau. So my aunt here knowing that i always did that they started to talk about this nonsense! Nonsense like what they asked me last month 'c boy ok ka kau pigi kk ni?' so when i said 'yes, why?', they said 'sebab balik2 sudah kan jadi manatau di mulut c boy ok tapi dalam hati tidak, jadi mana bagus gitu'

I was quite shocked actually after hearing that! but i just ignore them. Then they talk about it again while i was on my way to kk. Heard this from my cousin. same issue, same question, same thoughts from their mouth! and there my cousin tried to tell them that my sister already asked my hubby permission about bringing me back to kk again and there's an agreement for that already (which my aunts don't even know) but still they ignored my cousin's explaination. how sad is that? that they still wants to think the negative way and didn't even want to listened the fact!

Just because their condition was not like ours doesn't mean that they can and want to make mine like their way of life! this is us hub and wife own way so please don't make our way like yours which totally not the same at all! i realized as they getting old this habit of talking about others private life become a habit to them which pissing me off big time.
They religiously do this and that but still they do the things that so disgusting! so there's no point actually.

Anyhoooo i do still talk to them as normal as ever and i never mention anything about what i heard because i don't want a conflict in a family. so let them be in their silly wrong way and me just being me don't care what other people might think. there's more important stuff to think about rather than thinking about them.

Friday, May 18

Pressure for no.2

Since Dania was born i didn't even think about getting a sibling for her. and last time when she was still a baby before she turned 1 years old whenever think about another baby i felt like awkwardness and straightly the word NO was on my mind. and my mind said "there's no other baby could replace dania in my life", because for me it will be so weird. i know i didn't make any sense at all! actually its not about replacing your first born to your second born bah kan, but that's just me, silly!

And when she turned 2 years old, sometimes my mind kept wondering whether i should get a no.2 or not. am i ready or not? can i handle two kids? and there's more few reason of mine too. My experience with Dania when she was a baby i am okay with it, but im talking about when she becoming a toddler, well that's the hardest part actually. so i said maybe not now.

Now Dania is almost 3 years old definitely so many people especially your family will ask when are you going to give her a little sister? and to be honest i don't like to be ask that question anymore. why? because those question kinda made me think deep about having a second one for days! and its bugging me out!

Seeing my other cousin pregnant (she will pop this early june) and recently my aunt she found out that she's pregnant (she's been trying to be pregnant for years already) and i am soooo happy for her... plus seeing this  beautiful celebrities in this baby blog looking all so cute and pretty with their cute belly, and some of their first child is not even 3 years old and they are pregnant already! so sometimes this kind of thing made me feel like i wanna  be like them too! it was a wonderful feeling and experience being pregnant. Taking care a small baby was such a fun time but in my mind how am i gonna do that together with Dania? Seeing my other friend in real life having a second baby even before their first one turned 2 years old was hard for me to consider about it.

Am i being such a negative person and not optimistic about this issue?

My sister still don't have a baby in their life and i keep telling her to have one. then she asked me this question "Give me some positive reason why i should have a baby in my life?" and to a shocked for me i couldn't answer her question! Geez! but its not that bad actually, she will have the cutest baby with her aussie hubby if she ever want one.

But right now my situation seriously made me think that no, i wont have a no.2, end of story. i don't mind having Dania only in my life. i know some of you might think that i am ridiculous and Dania will be a spoil brat while growing up. well if that's what gonna happen, well it will happen then. it's all up to us parents how you brought up your child.

One think that i strongly consider right now is precaution! LOL. hopefully i wont be too stress about having no.2 anymore.

Monday, May 7

Its in the gene

On March Dania went to the hospital twice, at night and early morning.

This is the thing that i was soooo afraid since Dania was still in my womb. i'm afraid that if she will have the same sickness like me, like my grandfather, like my other cousins and like her papa. i'm talking about asthma!

I had it when i was in primary school but it was nothing worst actually, we just had to eat some medicine and not too much cold food/drink. as for Dania's situation it totally attack badly for me lah, coz you can hear her breathing sound and her chest and stomach was going up and down! and i was madly scared that night!

We went to the hospital and the doctor straightly ask the nurse to check Dania's oxygen, and i assume that it's not good so Dania had to wear the mask for this (i think) ventolin pump. Dania had this pump 3 times! the doctor almost register Dania to ward because he saw that her stomach was still going up and down, and that time i don't care whether she's going to the ward or whatever the doc said as long as Dania can breathe easily and her oxygen are getting better! lucky for us after the third pump she was ok. and at home she slept quite well actually. but then early morning i think the asthma came back which is worst than last night!

I did not think much and all i wanna do is get her to the hospital again! coz the doc reminded us last night that Dania must come back for pump if the asthma attack again. and that time hubby just came back from work. luckily the doc that manage Dania last night was there and he remembered us too. so yeah... straightly went for a pump at 7.30 am and we were there until 12 noon! can you imagine being there for hours with the hospital's aircond? it was crazy! so cold until i can't even feel my finger tips. seriously how on earth a patient can get better with that temperature? i have no idea at all! and mostly the asthma patient is toddler and baby. i know how other mothers feel with their kids there.

When we were in kk early April Dania went to clinic also because of her flu and there's a little sound of asthma. and that time i tried to think very very hard why on earth she get her asthma back again?! then i remembered 2days before Dania felt hard to breathe she and my cousin play bubble and Dania was the one who was blowing the bubble again and again and again! then i also remembered at keningau few days before the asthma attack she did play bubble also with her papa. so there you go, a person who have history of asthma couldn't blow too hard of anything even a balloon or blowing a bubble too much, apa lagi for a toddler kan. this is true because last time when i was still pregnant the doc tested me of blowing this thing, she said it was a preparation for me during labor later. she tested me because she knew that i have an asthma history. and i failed the test again and again!   

So yeah... that's our experience with this asthma thing. i hate it but i can't do anything about it because it's in our family's gene. how sad is that!

From now on i tried hard not to let Dania play bubble anymore, coz once she start she wont stop. not too much cold stuff and too much cold air (hard to excape in this matter).

Wednesday, May 2

Stories from weeks

There's been alot of things going on in our life this past few weeks or months since the last time i updated this blog. and as always i don't know where to begin.

On March i stayed in keningau until the end of the month i went back to Kk again coz Meibelle (my sister) and her hubby came back from Australia for a 2weeks hols.

Few days in kk then go back to keningau again for Family Day (games and a badminton tournament). and the whole family was there and it was hectic! we had sooooo much fun spending time together and winning some awesome prizes too. after spending 2 nights there i had to follow my sister back to kk spend time with her before she going back to Aust the next few days. went to an island, with Dania too and ofcourse shopping and awhole lot of food! such a short short time for me to enjoy my sister company actually, and both of us really misses each other already. it really sad!

As always Dania fell sick in kk. and yup visiting the clinic everytime we go to kk was actually a must already, which is quite annoying for me!

Dania's development nothing much actually, except for her after-well-from-sick attitude was driving me crazy. and i discovered her allergy and her new interest.

Also there's an issue about certain family members which not really stressing me out but it actually make me think about it every single day.

So in conclusion now i wanna try to find some time to update this blog and print out few photos from our holidays and event.