Friday, October 31

I need some help

This are some things that really really irritated me :

1. Ants !! - i'm talking about this small brown ants that have somekind of smell on them and my house got so many of that ants and it driving me crazy! seriously! i don't know what else to do. i sprayed them with shieldtox so many times already but still they still out there! what make me more irritate about this ants that they even go to my water jar, water jar?! how come? it's not sweet but water..... why? just now i was mad because they are so many around the water jar so i drowned them all in the water sink. stupid ants!

what should i do? in what other way to kill this ants??

2. Lizard !! - i hate them! oohh this creature also seems many on my ceiling house, especially the balcony. they go and hide around the lamp on the ceiling. why i felt irritate to this stupid creature? because they simply go and throw their shit anywhere and the floor of my balcony always dirty because of their shit!! so since i always online at my balcony, so kesian my lappie coz sometimes this stupid lizard let go their stupid shit and it perfectly landed on my lappie!!! omg..... they drive me crazy.

what should i do? how do i kill this stupid lizard??

3. hamster !! - well since now is raining season ya.... and people seems go to toilet often (if you know what i mean) and so do hamster. yes it's true! my hamster stink! even if their cage we just cleaned up then they will mess it up again and as i said they urine over and over again. so because of that i bought ambipur spray perfume for my house to get rid of the hamster smell but it didn't help at all. so this morning moved the hamster cage outside of my balcony.

so as conclusion i gave up on taking care hamster.

i'm still moody. i'm not happy. howcome life can be unfair sometimes? huh.... whatever. does anyone know the date of this coming chinese new year next year? i really need to know.

my face when i'm sick. pale. whatever.

i'm tired. i need to lay down.
ohh i just knew this " how can you want to have a dog if you can't even take care of yourself?"
so i think about it and there's a truth about that. do i take care myself perfectly? i don't know!

Thursday, October 30

Don't know what else should i do

this tension between us
is all because of you
i'm not joking when i say something especially when i'm mad

i am dead serious

do you even care to put it on your mind and heart?
do you?

i am very disappointed on you

no words can describe how i felt
not a word will come out from me to you again

can't you just admit it?
can't you just tell the truth?

all the excuses you gave is unreasonable!
i am sick of this
is all up to you to make this matter straight

this is what my heart have to say.

i am thinking about applying credit card. is it a wise decision? i need to think first the bad and good thing about having this easy-way-to-buy-anything-i-want card.....

Wednesday, October 29

About tuesday

Yesterday went to clinic because my tonsils getting worst. even just by drinking some water is painful so i just had to go for checkup.
anyway so at the clinic the doctor checked me and he said that my tonsil was bad already. there's so many swell thing in my tonsil area that's why swallowing the saliva. and plus my tonsils got nanah!! (i don't know what's nanah in english ok) i was shocked hearing that. and so they gave me medicine which cost me rm30 huh. just seeing all the pills and i don't believe that i have to swallow that! the pills is big and thick. i never see any pills like that before. i even took a snap of it :

this is all my medicine 5 types. thick and big is that pills!
it's panadol,antibiotik and painkillers.

All my life never ever see pills this thick! when i tried to swallow this pills down my throat by drinking water its so hard for it to go all the way down the throat. how do i know? i can feel and taste it in my throat ok. and its like stuck there for a while then went down. so hard to swallow it!
Well enough about it, i'm feeling abit better now.

Ohhh Happy Belated Birthday to my sister Myra on the 27th October!! yea....she's all big now. she's 13!! didn't get a chance to get her present yet. i'm still thinking.

Went to Giant that just opened here last week and i am soooo relief that it's here. because this is the only place or store that very good and nice and maybe convinience for me. it's not just the Giant store in there, they also have Guardian, kfc, accessories store, shoes store and etc.... and i tell ney that i'm not going to any shop at the town anymore because i am just gonna go here to buy things or to shop.

What's on my mind : i want an oven!seriously. and i need to improve my english.

Monday, October 27

Today is the same

I'm still sick. i got 4 in1 issue of sickness. first i got fever, second i got tonsils (i already eat whole packet of strepsils but still), third i got toothache (super super painful!no i wont go to the dentist), and lastly the forth i got my period today and my stomach is  in soooo much in pain and that include my back also. how great is that? how wonderful my day is? NOT.

I can't complain to anybody because in the end i have to deal with it also, sooo i complain about this on my blog.
The whole day i filled my tummy only with whipped potato and porridge. i have no appetite at all but i still imagining about cheesecake and brownies! i want it. if only i have an oven here.

Today i made my own calendar. lame calendar on my notebook. and i'm thinking i need to have a calander on my house wall. maybe i'll make my own soon. anyway i made this calendar because i'm planning on our holidays for the next few months because seems like there's alot of event coming so just in case kan.

i love monday
 but everybody hates monday.

Ohh i wanna give out my hamster to anybody who wants them. why? because i can't stand the hamster's urine smell. make my whole house smelly.

Listening to One Republic song over and over again called Say It. I love it.

Saturday, October 25

Make ME sick cocktail

How to make a blissanne

5 parts friendliness

1 part humour

1 part beauty
Combine in a tall glass half filled with crushed ice. Add a little cocktail umbrella and a dash of wisdom

Get Your Personality cocktail

How true and how untrue it is. well im not using my real name, it's my username. so this post is nothing actually, so just ignore it if you want (-_-)

The whole day is raining and i am not feeling well. i'm sick plus nobody accompany me tonight. how stressful this is.

Just me

Ohh god.... i'm becoming this madness angry crazy girl again this day. why? because my period time is coming! and i hate sooo much.

i hate myself acting like this. being angry even if it's a small things or small mistakes. so stupid! so who going to face my stupid attitude? ney. like tonight he cooked the chicken in so not my way and i get angry of it. and there's some things that i get mad also.

I know.... crazy right!

This afternoon : ym-ed with didy and i'm happy. i can't believe that her brother is married already.

Thursday, October 23

This and That

I just finished watch Gita Gutawa video clip called Sempurna and i'm in love with her voice! yes i know she's a girl but her voice omg, so good and very nice as well. she can really do really good falseto (whatever the spelling is) i think what they called it.
Ohh i love the song too! actually i already heard the song many times, infact i have it on my sony walkman hp but after i saw the video clip today i really fell in love with it.

 I remembered first time i saw her in this award show and she was performing with siti nurhaliza and this other singer from singapore, and i'm amazed with her very high voice, i can't even think how to describe her voice futhermore. and she's only 15 years old! i adore her.


Okay....last night i YMed with my two sister, Myra and Mei. So mei showed me her wedd dress for her future wedd in Australia next year. So i decide to post the picture on my blog of our / my memory. well i didn't tell mei that i'm gonna post it, maybe later i'll tell her.

I think she looks pretty on the dress but the only problem for me is the lenght of the dress is too long for her. i don't know which bridal shop she went and find this dress. i don't understand why she susah susah go and find wedd dress here in sabah, and actually she can find a better and more beautiful dress in aust.
I can't believe she's getting married already early next year! and i don't know if i can come to her wedd at aust, maybe only my parents and myra will go.
Mei told me also that she'll be leaving sabah on the 8th of December to australia! i mean why so early??!! and how she plan on having a family gathering this end of November at our hometown before she fly off.
Am i sad? well i don't know actually. maybe. not sure. but something really been bothering me about her moving there but i don't know what! but ofcourse i'm gonna miss her! she's my closest sister all my life.

This is her with her...errmm i'm not sure her fiance or still boyfriend because i'm not sure they are engaged or what. way too tall than her, way big than her and yes he's australian.



so glad that Giant finally opened here!today!
and the place is crowded as hell because one of ney's friend went there this morning and he have to leave his car there coz it's so hard and so impossible to get out of that area so at last he went home by taxi.
hahahaa.... i'll wait for a week to past by then i'll go there.

Wednesday, October 22


Went to Pizza Hut last night. Well i did not have pizza for sooo many months already and only last night we had the chance to go there and i'm so full like eating awhole of cow hahaa!

This is what we ordered, we tried the new set of pizza. i don't remember the name of it but the taste is ok compare other pizza.

And i ordered this salad which i've been craving since last week actually. i purposely didn't finish it (which i can) so that i can tapau it back teeheee.....
Went for shopping a bit.  

I really enjoyed myself!



Sunday, October 19

Guilty Not Pleasure : Crave

I was mad at him. i stood infront of the door watched him running down the stairs. i was shivering and my heart asked me to just shout out all the anger but i'm trying so hard to hold it down.

I throw my handphone because i couldn't sms or call him. i feel blank. so i went to my lappie straight away. surfing and surfing nonsense stuff then there's a loud knock on my door. i was so shocked. so i ran towards the door and open it wondering who the hell is it!

Then he hand me a plastic of food. he looks like gonna lose his breath coz running up the stairs just to give me my dinner. i'm sooo speechless. that's when the guilty feeling aroused so badly.
I am sorry ney. truly madly deeply sorry. stupid of me for being mad to some stupid stuff.


hopefully tomorrow & the future will be a better day for us

Ohh how i miss Margaritas!! 34 days to go. will i wait for it? hope so.

Saturday, October 18


Yahoo Horoscope : Leo

It's hard to figure out what to do next -- there are so many options to choose from! Try not to worry about it too much, because things should be a lot clearer for you in a few more days.
I'm a bit relief after reading it. not that i trust in horoscope and all, im not that superticious. BUT sometimes there's a truth behind every single words of it. 
Hopefully i'll come true. because i'm so tired being in this sitation already. it sucks!
I YMed with my cousin just now and found out that my mum is sick! can you believe them?not telling or inform me anything!! what a family is that...
My cousin told me that my mum's gastrik got bacteris infection which can lead to a cancer!! i mean this is serious right so why wont they tell me earlier?why wont meibelle (my sis) tell me this afternoon when i smsed her which she didn't reply! im so mad and so sad.
Yes im very worry about my mum's health nowadays. *sigh*

What catch me in E!News these days.....Angelina Jolie! yes, after giving birth to twins i see that she's getting more prettier. last time i don't think that she is, because i'm a fan to Jennifer Aniston. figure out why.

she's gorgeous!

And what makes me wonder wtf they like this thing so much especially teens? im talking about High School Musical 3 lah. In my opinion the actor and actress are soooo lame especially Vanessa Hudgens, she can't even sing uurgh! seeing her acting all manja and romantic with Zac Efron makes me wanna puke! including the story of the movie, so lame!i rather see Scary Movie or any stupid movie than watching HSM. so i don't see any point of liking this movie nor the actresess.


Friday, October 17

I don't care !

Screw all of you who staying here
i don't give a damn about what you'll think
i don't give a damn what you'll say
i don't give a damn what you'll gonna do
go and get a life for yourself 
and stop fucking care about other people's life will you!

i'll do what i want and whenever i want
i'll get whatever i want
i don't give a shit what you'll say anymore
i'm not being selfish but this is all i asked for
all this while
if those loser's opinion is more important 
then maybe i'll better leave
because your fucking opinion including the people here
is just a stupid stupid unreliable to me !

p/s : every person have their own rights to do or to have whatever they want. that is including me!!

okay at least there's one thing make me laugh just now. this girl viewed my blog so view hers too and there's one of her post she posted her picture and the caption said "omg i look like Dawn Yang here" ---->OMFG! seriously is a joke for me! i don't know if she even realise the BIG different about her face and Dawn's face! go get a mirror will you?

Thursday, October 16

How much cuter she can be !

Super super excited me!!
okay i've mention about how i go and email email strangers about their dog because im looking for a puppy right and i received quite a few email from them. saying that my price is to low la.....the puppy is sold la...and the list goes on.
But last night i received this email from a maltese owner and he want to give his puppy a new home (like adoption lah) and he wants me to have his puppy and it's a female one!
So cute, so adorable she can be. plus she's a maltese and this kind of breed most people go and sell like 1k plus. all those people are sooo greedy one! but i can have this maltese for free! well i have to pay for the international shipping actually coz she's from singapore.
hhhmmm..... but why there's still this doubt feeling inside of me about having this puppy?

Wednesday, October 15

Ohh Happy Me

Finally i'm very very rajin to edit my blog layout !
i chose this layout because its vintage style and all this while i've been searching a vintage layout and so last night i found one!!
I work hard on my blog's content - i mean the left side bar until my
legs and my back got a lil' cramped plus the coldness outside my balcony. The result? really make me smile (^o^) teeheee.......yeah i know i did not edit my layout in a very perfecto way but at least its still okay and looks okay.  

p/s : i've been hiding ney's cigarette this past few days and since last night ney is acting like a sick person (not the bad sick) i mean like having a fever. so i thought maybe this is the effect for not puffing any cigarette for hours in one day. i don't care coz that'll teach him a lesson!

Tuesday, October 14

Didy - Dreamed

I dreamed about one of my best friend. I wonder how she's been doing right now. I get confused why i suddenly dreamed about her. How is she doing? yes i am concern.

Because in my dream she's all alone in this road and look totally confused. like she's looking for something and she tried to stop every single car that passed by.


I asked my cousin to search for her friendster the other day but my cousin said that she couldn't find Didy's friendster. Suddenly i miss talking to her. Hope she's doing fine.

this is Didy, me and Abby in a kbox at CP.
this photo taken like 2006 i think.
How i miss all the fun i had with all my friend. Now eveybody is gone, doing their own thing and own life.

Monday, October 13


Last night i dreamed about puppies!! if only it was a real thing (-_-')
So i googled some pictures of puppies just now to find the look a like of the two puppy in my dream :

the picture above (brown puppy) is the one i dreamed last night, not the black one. then the second one looks like this :

it's black and white and both of them is very playful in my dream. they were playing in my blanket and all.... i was sooo happy that time. my feeling in my dream its like " wow...finally i have these puppies that i've been wanting soo much "

but sadly its not a real thing.
i really do want a puppy!! so today also i've been googling hehe very hard to find cheap maltese/yorkies/shih tzu puppies and i've been email some people about the puppy that they are selling. so as i keep on google this puppies i suddenly realized where on earth i'm suppose to take care of them coz in my house right now is quite difficult coz most of the people here is a muslims and no one here have puppy as their pets. so thats why i wish (again) i'm staying in kk or keningau. stupid place!
its sooooo hard to find a cheap one here in this country! specially in sabah. so lame. i wish i'm in china which they sell their puppies sooo cheap one.

This is my dream to have puppy :

yeah..i've always want the white colour. but if i do find cheap puppy like this in any colour i'll take it no matter what! then if i do find this kind of puppy walking down the street alone without no license or whatever i'll take it with me hahahaa! i'll kidnap it.

i want puppy so badly......

Sunday, October 12

My days of Hari Raya '08

29 Sept '08

Early in the morning at 5.30 am me, ney and his friends konvoi going back to kk through ranau road. do i enjoy my journey? no. why? because it's a very hot day as hell!! the whole journey i was sweating, even there's the aircon car but it can't beat the heat at all. plus ney and his friends keep on stopping here and there and i was so mad to him coz he just followed whatever his friends did. the heat was quite bad especially the journey from the sandakan checkpoint then telupid, then ranau kundasang only i'm feeling okay la coz there the place is windy. i was quite surprise when we reach kundasang coz before this kundasang that i went last time is cold and not hot at all, but this time it was quite hot! talk about global warming huh... this is not good for the tourism there i guess.
i was feeling dehydrated there so we were driving around like what only trying to find cold drinks but most of the store there they don't have any! crazy right!?! we arrived quite late then what i expected all because of ney's friends! here's some pictures at ranau kundasang :

this is the picture of gunung kinabalu but i can't snap it properly coz ney was driving so fast but the view is so clear and big.

this is ney driving

this is my stuff food hehee...very messy kan. oh the 'tao kae noi' is my seaweed and it's super good!!

30 Sept '08

Yesterday we arrived nearly 5pm. yes it's late!! but everthing i forget when i saw my baby cousin bebe. she'd grown up and more cuter more clever than ever than before!
This is few pictures of her i snap when we were about to go out to City Mall. she's wearing her new outfit that my aunt just bought. my aunt have the same pants like that, so that's the reason why she bought it for her daughter. i realized that Bebe really know how to pose infront of the cam these days. i think she should be a model for children's ad hahahaaa!!

this bebe, her brother govin and ney was playing the excersise thing (i forgot its name) at city mall.
i had fun with them!

At 6pm we drove back to keningau to go back to ney's house to be with his family to celebrate hari raya and i'm all excited that time. so we arrived there 9pm, quite late coz we stopped at gunung emas somemore.
so when we arrived they all were still busy painting the house and baking biscuit, last minute preparation i guess. but i'm so happy to meet them. i'm so tired that time so after i had dinner straightly i fell asleep.

01 Oct '08 (first day Hari Raya)

Today is the first day of raya!! yea....
We went to some open house of our relative at kg. masjid and we had all this foods and biscuits that we hardly see during normal day. i didn't take any picture of the food because too many people that time busy having and taking food. but it was all good and satisfaction!
Quite tiring actually go here and there that day plus again the hot weather! yeah keningau is hot but not as hot as kk. i tell you the heat in kk is twice hot compare here and keningau!

this is bebe when we were hari raya-ing hehee..
she don't want to give anybody that sit.

this is me, i think it was midnight i took this picture and that time i was all exhausted and sleepy. can see on my pale and tired face actually.
at first i decide not to post this pic coz i don't look good here but whathehell right.

Despite all the heat, tired and stickyness feel i had fun!
no duit raya this year *sob sob*

02 Oct '08 (second day Hari Raya)

I woke up quite early that day. we had delicious breakfast of all time! ney's sister made the most delicious nasi minyak and rendang.
after that we rushed to follow ney's sisters to their uncle's house at Bingkor for an open house and to visit the grave.
the grave was just few meters from their uncle's house so we walked there.
this is the pictures of us visiting the grave.

this is ney pouring the water full of flowers on their late father's grave Stimson Jaimi Gunsanad.
everybody was there to do it and have to it including me *surprise*

this is the grave of their late grandfather - Jaimi Gunsanad

this is the view of lake near the graveyard. the lake have alot of big fish actually.
i really like it here, very windy and calming.
the boy sitting there is Wan, ney's nephew.

03 Oct '08

At night we had barbeque!! so excited! we all help each other to prepare this.
there's alot of food and all is super super delicious! honestly i tell here. they made mee kari, fruit salad, barbeque the chicken wings, there's ketupat and lemang and etc.....
i didn't take picture of the food also coz me and ney is soooooo hungry waiting for the food so we just eat and finish all fast! heheehee...

this is ney preparing for the coal. small right the place to barbeque the chicken wings.

I had fun that night!
So the next day we suppose to go back but we postponed to the next2 day. i'm so happy!
by the time the day arrived for us to go back through the kalabakan road i was so sad like never before to leave all the fun there in keningau. thats why i feel so depressed.
It was a short short holiday! and i'm not satisfy.

The End

Friday, October 10

Reality for Malaysian

Malaysia media should broadcast or do this reality show as in malaysian's version :

and i'm totally 100% sure i'll be tuning it every single episode. they really should do this coz so that we can know how's actually the people of malaysia is. coz i realized that most malaysian people always sooo proud of their tradition and religion or whatever including the politeness and the harmony of this country if compare (as if) to other country.
i'm not against my own country or what, but this is my opinion about it. and i'm sure there's alot of people out there in malaysia is just as bad attitude as other people in other country. because this show in America there's this girl reveal like every single thing of her secret which leave every people in shocked until she appeared in People magazine and she'd been labeled as The Most Hated Person In America.
See...... that's y Malaysia should do this show too, to reveal any person including the celeb or politician i guess to their bad side.
to open their eyes!!


A okay day

What made me smile today? afterall this while, i watched tv drama. yeah, my astro they connected back. and i watched CDs.

1. The Nanny !!

I looovvveee this show since .... i don't know, i'm 8 y.o. that i can remember. i still cannot forget about how last time me, my mum and my dad loves to watched this every sunday but till now it's still make me laugh.
what i love about this show is their character like Fran and Niles and their script is so good. i watched it at channel Hallmark 702.

2. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. !!

I mean who doesn't love to watch this drama right? i still love it! and channel Starworld 711 always play it over and over again. so everyday watching it totally made my day and make me smile.
so which character is the best? i'm sure everybody will say Rachel but me i don't have the best character coz everybody is so funny and Chandler's joke and attitude always hilarious.

3. My 19 year old sister in law!!

This is my aunt's vcd korean collection and i must say that this is my most favorite story ever. well other than Full House ok. anyway i really like this drama. coz when u just start to watch it you will wanna go and continue next cd next cd eventhough you were all sleepy and it's 4 am in the morning coz its so good and funny.
the main character is this girl which i don't think that she suit the character coz seems like she's trying so hard to act the character that she'd given but whatever, i love the story not her. so i'm watching it every night before going for bed.

Here's another drama that can make me smile no matter what :

4. Mind your own language !

it's a 70's drama actually. i remember watching it with my dad at his house when i was little and we were all laughing. my dad always follow this spainish man whenever he was talking like ' por favor ' ( if i spell it right ). anyway its really a funny funny story though. i saved it in my lappie every episode.
Conclusion? nothing i just wanna blog here about some drama that can really make me smile and made my day and can make me just throw away little by little the negative stuff or the sadness i had in me. and its for myself to remember old drama still as good as todays drama.


Lastnight i suddenly remembered or should i say missed my old handphone so badly. i regreted that i trade-in it to buy the sony hp for ney. infact i bought the hp with my own money again that! that's why i don't feel good about it.
anyway i promised if i'm back in kk again i will go to the shop where i trade-in it. i really do hope that they still have it.

Here's a photo of it. really missed it!

So pretty right!!

This is my current hp :

Still cantik and nice right.... huh now? most of the keypad is broke into two and the colour is like beginning to fade. i bought this in April and now is October. only 6months old.

I'll post some pictures about my holiday and hari raya tomorrow tomorrow.

Wednesday, October 8

What i realized today

My hamster is not well. ney's one keep on having this squeky sound and his balls (-_-') kinda swollen.
mine? his nose is kinda bleeding. maybe got scratched by cat during the time at kgau. but now its ok already.

i don't know what to do.

today i asked ney when is his next long off again? and he said maybe middle of november.
WHAT??!! how can this be! NO!!
it's like 40DAYS to come!!

i'm speechless.

all i do is counting the day in my hp's calendar.

plus today my astro got cut. great isn't it!! again ney is in night shift!

Tuesday, October 7

This whole shit thing 2

my mind non-stop thinking about tomorrow or the future.

and there's always the 'if only' words about tomorrow and the future.

what about today? i don't even care.

will i get over this situation? will i?

i don't think i can.


Monday, October 6

This whole shit thing

i'm here back again and it drives me crazy!

i hate to be here.

i really having a depression like hell!

i can't even do anything single thing right now.

my mind is so in mess.

i don't know if i can handle all this right now.

i nearly faint just now.

i've been crying since yesterday.

i am feeling homesick.

all i can do is just pray to god all the time.

i'll post about my holiday next time.