Thoughts

I'm thinking while blogging *sigh*

I have so many thoughts in my mind that i just wanted to scream it out but not loud.
can i do that? i'm scared.
scared till my whole body like turning into cold one
and my stomach full of butterflies.
There's so many stuff linger on my mind that i want it to happen!
i want it to happen now and just stuck there and let the time freeze.
While i'm enjoying the moment of mine to myself.
i am being silly here with such an endless imagination that i kept for myself
Which maybe it's just going to be my imagination for the rest of my life.
Am i satisfied with what i had in my life now?
no. not really. i'm not hating it neither do i loving it.
It sucks.
i am confused with this whole thing and this whole situation.
I don't know what else should i do or say.
my life now for me is very complicated on my point of view
And i hated it soo much!
every minute all i wanted is the time when i close my eyes and linger in my own dream
With my beautiful imagination.
that's only the time when i felt so calm and peace and smile? there's always on my face.
I couldn't talk to anybody about this. i don't want to.
Nobody will understand.

I guess all i've wanted is..........
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.
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.
.
.
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.
.

nobody know. not even me. i know but i don't know how to make it happen and i'm not sure about it.

I felt so useless and stupid.

I am helpless now.

p/s : i wanted to buy the whole set of Twilight novels. where can i find it?

Having fun

We were busy cleaning and rearranged at the back of my aunt's house for this Wednesday. It's New Year countdown!!! Can't wait. We're going to have barbeque with the whole family here in kk.



Went to Warisan Square again yesterday. Went to Times, Big Apple, Roxy, D&M, Charles & Keith and etc.... I think i cannot even go inside C&K anymore, all the shoes and handbag make me crazy! i want them all!! Ohh i bought something from Roxy anyway, purse :


I am sooo excited for Chinese New Year!! Now we are thinking what biscuits we are going to bake hehe!!

Tomorrow PMR result is out! My cousin Sheila sat on it. So i am very very curious 'bout her result!

To Stephenny : You have to come to my house!!! you've been postponed it so many times already!! and i have so many stuff to talk to you. i really need to talk to somebody and i know u got story to tell me too so i'll kill you if you don't show up this weekend okay! hehee!

Butterfly

Breathe on me gently

Whisper me with your breathtaking voice

Touch my lips with your cold hand

Kiss me tenderly and passionately

Like there's no tomorrow.

Everyone makes me laugh today. Especially tonight. I am happy. I am taking risk. But whatever it is i know i can handle it wisely with God's help.

Good Night!!

5 days away

Sleepover at my mum's house for 5 days that's why i didn't update my blog. its not that they don't have any internet but there's so many things to do then at the end of the day tired already to blog. so going back to my aunt's house then only i have the chance to update lorr!



First day i'm there we already making TACO!! i loovee it!! the taco mei brought it from aust and the cheese too. i did take the taco picture that i've done filling all the above stuff but my sister Myra deleted it! Ggrrrr!

Then me and mei did facial. we wore mask and eye patch mask. mei keep on complaining about her skin condition and she said my skin looks really nice and she asked me what skincare i've been using *wink* perasan me. no lah! it's just that i really want to take care my skin. so now i really rajin to take care of it and i really hope i can keep it up! chayohh!!

Then we did pedicure! they have sooo many nail enamel!!

My stinky feet hahahaa!! i chose the kinda dark brown color by revlon. i also did my mum's toe nail too well because of the deal we had agree kan. remember?

trying on some colors.

me and mei. being crazy!!

mei asked me to snap a picture of her while she pretending talking on her hp. silly!!
can you see her hp?

this is it! i really like it ohh! i want it too. color purple someore!!

Then today we went for a little shopping at Warisan Square. bought some stuff too. at first i planned on buying flip flop at Roxy but then i saw at F.O.S which is kinda similar plus cheaper!

Staying at my mum's is fun because there's my two crazy sister. we did crazy stuff. we talked crazy stuff. and if you wanna be fat or just berisi lah go and stay at my mum's for months i guaranty you'll be. because of all the food she cook and bake. my mum really rajin to do all cooking stuff. she even make me chocolate bread this morning!!yummy!! thanks mum!

OMG!!!

I already watch Twilight!!!! yes i know i am late but whatever as long as i watched it lah. Edward Cullen is SO SO SO SO SO SO absolutely adorable handsome!!! i know i'm insane. i like the way he stare at Bella.
My sister Myra watched it for i don't know thousand times!! me?only once lah but i'm going to watch it again tonight! hehehe. i bought the dvd today for me to keep for myself. because the one i watched i borrowed it from my cousin Zizie.

I Love Twilight!!!

Alalala i'm being like a teenager again ohh!!

LOL!!!

Sunday morning

Went to water world. it was hot but not very very hot. first thing in my mind i thought that this place not so many people go there because the entry fee is expensive and it's abit boring the equipment there but all my thoughts are wrong! when we arrived there, there's soo many peolpe and the fee they reduced to rm10 only. very tired coz i naik the slide again and again then when i reached home then terus pengsan on bed try to get some sleep back.











I'm very lazy to put caption hehee. overall i had fun, we all had fun! yayyy!!

Today i'm very happy happy happy!!! *wink*

I'm not satisfied with this layout because the right click were disabled!!

Again

I changed my layout again because i'm getting bored on my previous layout :

My current layout is it better than the above one??

i think that my right column macam not very organize kan. but let it be, as long as it still looks okay. the only thing that i'm not really okay with is the background of my posted items. it's white and macam boring. but whatever lah as long the layout changed already.

Ohh today didn't go anywhere. i want to go out but don't know where to go. my aunt and my grandma went back to keningau already. mei came in the afternoon to hangout with us then we did karaoke again. there's no internet connection since thursday or friday, i'm not sure so we're soo boring and we went crazy bored, so me and my couz curled our hair, talk nonsense, disturb people and etc. so only tonight my uncle fixed it soo yeay! now can surf internet already!

Tomorrow they planned going to Water World. not sure jadi or not. and if jadi don't know lah if i wanna swim, malas hee.

I'm very sleepy sudah it's 3.48am!! i'll be a panda not for long LOL.

boring again

I forgot to talk about how's my phone conversation with my dad in Philippine the other day.
Here it goes :

- it was funny.
- it was very very very totally awkward after for soo many years only that day we talked.
- it was scary.
- i am blank at all time.
- i don't know what to say or ask.
- not comfortable.

My sister the one that did the conversation with him most of the time. talked to my step-mum too. they still don't have children, don't know why. and he asked me to reply or send him a letter. then he asked me whether i want him to come to sabah for mei's wedding or not. i said yes so i guess i'll be seeing him next may 2009.
I don't know why my feeling to him is like a stranger. like talking to a stranger pula. i don't feel like talking to him at all again. don't know lah why if you ask me. very confused this.

*******

I was tagged again. It's 8 RANDOM THING ABOUT ME.

1. I'm a very very fussy person in some way.

2. I don't like to be around people who have mood swing most of the time. (no offense)

3. I have dusun-chinese-filipino-spanish blood.

4. I love seeing guys with baju selangor hehehee.

5. I really hate people who always late and make me wait for them for hours.

6. I like to ask questions.

7. I'm a thinker.

8. If i sleep i must hug my blanket.

That's all i can think about myself. so i wanna tag Noury and Marion.

*******

Went to my mum's house for lunch. it was fun! all the food is soo delicious and i had 3 or 4 glass of vodka mix abit with pepsi and root beer. and after for soo long i watched again hindi movie kabhi kushi kabhi gham. i never get bored watching that movie, i can watch it over and over again hee. at night we had karaoke session and it was fun! bought agnes monica album and karaoke lagi tu so we sing and sing until our throat sakit ni hahahaa!!

did i forget anything else?

Boring ohh!!

photos

Just wanna upload some photos of us the other day at 1Borneo. mesti boring la kan.

(^.^)

all of the pictures above is me, sheila and lala with our grandma.

We were very crazy that day at 1Borneo. all we did is taking pictures and laughing. tired ohh!

1Borneo christmas decoration is sooooooooo pretty!!! plus they did this fake snow that came out from the 3rd or 4th floor kaa not sure..... i tried to take the fake snow picture but not menjadi the picture.

And i bought a sunglasses finally i found one!! im so happy *wink* teeeheee................ the above picture is me and my cousin JC. she's very emo one. i mean she really really a big fan of emo stuff. if you guys see her pictures omg it's very funny how she tried to pose just like most of the emo girl pictures on the internet. and she's only 11! terlampau advance hehehee.

Tomorrow my mum invite all of us to her house for lunch. cant wait!! i really miss her cooking. ohh yesterday me and my mum made a deal that if i do her a manicure and pedicure she'll buy me an oven just like her!!! syiok nya....! Mei suppose to come back from Aust tomorrow but don't know what time.

Should i change my blog layout???

I feel kinda abit bored to my current layout. hehee.

it's all about family

My aunt from sandakan came and stay here for a couple of days with her children because her husband fly off to Bogor Indonesia. so the environment of this house is going to change to full of laugh and humor again! and i like it! why? because my aunt is very funny one and we like to kacau kacau her. plus again tomorrow my couzzy Sheila is coming so imagine her going to be here with us in this house plus my aunt maybe this house will be a blast LOL. then this saturday my grandma and my another aunt from keningau are coming too. syiok nya!

Why i always said that only they come that this house will be a fun? because usually here there's more quietness and less of laughter. but it doesn't mean i don't like it lah. because there's always some kinda mood swing in this house.
So the conclusion is december or end of year mostly is my family time to meet each other. every year it is like this. and i love it.

Since i stayed here in kk i seldom *thinking* or should i say never watch any tv program that i always watch at my home. so i guess i missed alot of episode of the soap opera that i regularly watch.
i missed so many episode of :

- Friends
- The Nanny
- ANTM
- Jamie Oliver
- Nigella
- E!News
- Rachael Ray
- Hikmah
- Grey Anatomy
- Desperate Housewives

Yeah.. i know alot of program. sometimes i am a potato couch or tvholic lol!!! i was thinking just now about this stuff and i realized that when the time i am back at home again then i have to find new interesting tv program that i like. malas ohh.

Tomorrow we are going to CT mall with them. can't wait to find a pashmina for myself!! if got lah. and cuci cuci mata.

Yesterday i mentioned that i'm gonna sleep early right... but i din't! i slept at almost 3am already. what did i do? actually me and Didy ym-ed last night kan then suddenly we talked about this girl bah from our school. then we google her name with her husband name and pop up some website about them that we found quite shocking and interesting and funny. so i end up reading all the comments from readers about both of them. did i finish reading about her? no. so i'm gonna continue again now!!

happy me !!

tasty disaster

Me and Zizie baked muffins last night. it's very tiring!! especially our legs coz both of us do alot of standing while baking the muffins. zz slept at 2 am and me at 4.30 am already because after we baked it i online. tonight i online quite early because i know later i will pengsan on bed early coz lack of sleep lol..

The muffins taste so good but the look of the muffins is not so pretty afterall. yupp we messed up! I think let the pictures do the talking aite?

- the ingredients -

- we mixed it altogether -

- scooped it into the papercup -
( learned it from Nigella )

- the result after came out from the oven -

the we want to decorate it with this !

But when we tried on the colorful icing that we made seems that the muffins doesn't look so good so we decided use the melted chocolate for the topping.

- the final result -
( look so lame even use the chocolate. well because both of us are still a beginner in this baking thing la )

But i am not giving up making more prettier muffins or cookies or cake or whatever lah.
Macam i talk about food only kan this week. boring.

My mum told us that mei's n95 hp was stolen at KLIA i think yesterday before she depart to Aust. so now she doesn't have a hp but i bet mike will buy for her the new one. she told us that today she and mike went for wedding ring hunting and she found the perfect ring for her.

*sigh*

I still can't believe that she's getting married.

Ohh i'm going to buy a scarf or pashmina they called it and i wanna learn all the ways on how to wear it in style. i know.... that sabah is a hot place to wear such thing but u really look nice wear it ohh.

LOLing

This is the video that i want to share a laugh with you guys!! i hope you enjoy it and find it very funny.

Maybelline's newest Model !!

The first thing on my mind that pop-out besides UGLY was a Piranha's Mouth !! LOL !! this person's mouth on this video like exactly the same like piranha's mouth (wide mouth and kinda sharp teeth). Jahat oh kan ! Anyway found it on youtube. this person is a HE okay. not SHE.

I mentioned yesterday about me wanna make treats / sweets and yes i did it just now !!
This is the result :

It's called Coconut Candy !

If you asked me how was it taste?? i love it!! but cannot eat too much lah. can give you cough and sore throat. so need to drink lots of water after eat this candy.
The picture below was the recipe of the candy . and it suppose to be like that. but compare to what i did i think it's not the same LOL. in the book looks more pretty and delicious and macam fluffy. anyway atleast i did try lah.

Tomorrow we'll be going to 1Borneo again i think because my little cousin want to buy a skateboard. i was thinking getting ney a skateboard too for his upcoming b'day but see lah if confirm, ok then we planned to have lunch at Kenny Rogers!!! can't wait! teeheeee..... i miss the food bah.

the naked truth

Tag from Carmel :

A. Attached or single?
Attached.

B. Best friend?
I have a few.

C. Cake or pie?
Cake. i never really like pie.

D. Day of choice?
I always like Tuesday.

E. Essential item?
My lappie.

F. Favourite color?
Now my fav color is brown.

G. Gummy bears or worms?
Gummybears.

H. Hometown?
Keningau but stayed in kk.

I. Favourite indulgence?
Ice Cream.

J. January or July?
Both la coz got special date on that month.

K. Kids?
LOL.

L. Life isn’t complete without?
Family !!!!

M. Marriage date?
LOL.

N. Number of magazine subscriptions?
Nil.

O. Oranges or apples?
Apples.

P. Phobias?
Birds and heights. lol.

Q. Quotes?
Don't have one.

R. Reasons to smile?
To throw or forget all the negative stuff.

S. Season of choice?
spring.

T. Tag 5 people.
Nobody lah.

U. Unknown fact about me?
i've mix blood and i easily get bored about some things.

V. Vegetable?
Cabbage.

W. Worst habit?
If i want something i want it sooner.

X. X-ray or ultrasound?
neither.

Y. Your favorite foods?
italian's food mostly.

Z. Zodiac sign?
Leo.

Sheila already went back to her mum's house this evening so it's a bit quiet in this house for a couple of days.
This afternoon went to Warisan again to accompany Mei. She want to buy something for Mike because this Monday she's going to Australian for 10 days. So we end up inside Roxy & Quicksilver for almost more than 1 hours ! just to find the perfect t-shirt for her fiancee lah! very tired ohh to choose this and that and making decision of which to buy. Luckily i get something also from there just to help Mei to reach the full price so that she can be a member of Roxy. So what did i get? well a card holder lah from Quicksilver.

It's a boy's card holder so i give it to ney. why i get boy's one? because the Roxy one like only left 1 color which is green color so i rather take this one instead.
We also went to Centre Point to have lunch which is like ages already i didn't go there. funny thing was that we didn't even meet or saw anybody or anyone that we know. yes it is surprising because usually whenever we go to CP we'll always meet or saw somebody that we know but this time different pula.

Ohhh i have this picture that i want post just to show Sheila what we had for dinner tonight right after she went back home. LOL. i bet she'll be mad after saw this picture.

pizza hut !

Know what i learned today?? i know anybody who read this will laugh or giggle or say "alalaa only now she know how to do that?kesian nya...." but i don't mind also because only now i think i need and want to do it. what is it??? Screenshots lah!! prove?


i can hear you guys laughing now.....!

My uncle said there's a PC fair at Sabah Trade Centre and Sunday is the last day! i wanna go coz i want to go and look the price of the Ram there. i need to upgrade my lappie's memory.

About the nuffnang poll that i have on my blog if you kindly and care can anyone that visited my blog response to it? important to me. Thank You! and if you visit my blog which i did not linked to please leave me message in my cbox k so that i know that you visited me OK? thank you AGAIN!!

Tomorrow i'm gonna make a treats !! or should i say sweets! its a recipe from my aunt's book. so if the thing look nice and taste delicious i'll post about it and the picture too.

I have this SUPER-CRAZY-STUPID-FUNNY video that me and my cousin saw on youtube but maybe i'll post it tomorrow. i bet you'll be laughing your heads off while watching the video.

2 Day of tiredness

I did go to Warisan Square to find new sunglasses yesterday but couldn't find the one that i really like. so we just go window shopping there then went to parkson. i had a flu yesterday and so i'm not really enjoying myself.

pictures while we're at Warisan.

Sorry because lately i posted quite alot of Bebe's picture yaaa. ohh and also don't mind some of my pictures hehehee.

Then today early in the morning we went to beach as i mention in my previous post. i am still in bad flu plus very sleepy but have to wake up also at 6.30 am. so here some pictures :

kurus me (-_-') buruk

my couzzy sheila i asked her to jump high then i took picture of her. macam she did ballet dance pula kan.

Tg.Aru beach 3.

After came back from the beach everybody is very tired and me straightly pengsan on bed heee. then woke up at 4.30 whch i thought it was 6.30 pm already coz the sky outside our room window was very dark.